18 June 2019

2 Ways to get what you want: Ask and Attract

As a member of EGN you will be part of close matching peer groups, where members share knowledge and help each other with perspectives, ideas and solutions to pain points and making sure to stay on top of trends.

I'm constantly endeavoring to simplify how to get what you want, both rapidly and accurately. In the process of doing so, I've discovered two simple ways to get what you want in life or business:

You can ask for it.
You can attract it.

How do you ask? How do you attract? Well, there are four methods of asking for what you want, and four methods to attract it.

Asking for help

You can ask in person.
Asking via email is another option.
You can ask via phone, through voice or text.
Finally, you can ask through social media.

Statistically, you stand a better chance for success if you have some sort of strategic ask in almost everything that you do -- in-person, on the phone, over email or on social media. Think about it: If you make one additional ask per day and convert at around 10 percent, then you have three people each month providing you with benefits that you'd have missed otherwise.

It's essential to make sure that your ask relates to some direct path to what you want, whether it is revenue, a business relationship or anything else of prime importance to you.

Ask and assist

This strategy uses the Ben Franklin Effect: When people do you a favor, they are more likely to do another. When you meet someone you yourself might be able to assist, ask for their help and, at the same time (e.g. in the same conversation), offer yours. And make a point to be of service even if others might not be able to help you immediately.

The same goes for phone calls, emails or social media interactions. Being afraid to ask for what you want is a detriment to your success and prosperity. If you lack this skill, then you need to work on it! Asking for help is a form of radical humility, something that with practice will have amazing benefits for all involved.

Having specific asks

There was a study published in the Journal of Applied Social Psychology about a female student posing as a panhandler. The unkempt, slovenly dressed girl went up to people on the street and asked for money. The purpose of the study was to show the importance of being specific with your ask. When she simply asked for "money," the percentage of people who gave some to her was 22 percent. When she asked for a specific amount (e.g. "Can you spare 47 cents?"), the rate of generosity increased to 36 percent. The researchers called this the pique technique, where an unusual request helps to persuade someone to help.

Use this study to your advantage! Don't just ask people for help -- ask specifically for what you desire. (Note: this "specific" attraction strategy also works when you ask the universe for help, which I'll cover next.)

Attraction needs attention

In order to attract what you want, you actually have to consciously and strategically think about what you want and focus in on it. Then, you need to take some sort of action using the same four strategies you use to ask for help in order to make it happen. You can't get what you want sitting around on your couch. You need to put yourself out there and stimulate interest in person, via email, by phone and through social media.

Stimulating interest in person can be powerful, especially if you surround yourself with the right people and the right ideas. A study by Nielsen found that 83 percent of people trust referrals from others they know. If you have a product, service, content or any other value that you provide to others, let them know when you talk in person or over the phone. As an example, if you're working with a charity organization, tell a story about how much money you helped raise for another charity you're affiliated with.

If you win an important award in an industry, put it in your email signature or as a tagline in a piece of social content. Showcasing your wins organically and authentically will attract more of the same. Create interest by focusing in on what you have, not what you're missing.

Asking the universe

Another form of attraction occurs by asking the universe to take energy expended and attract similar energy back. Scientific studies have shown examples of attraction in people. We have mirror neurons in our brains that are activated when two individuals simultaneously experience emotions, such as anger, happiness or confusion. The neurons also activate when we observe these emotions in others. The emotions of others are then attracted to us.

Be the person with the confidence to attract and ask for what you want. I have given you two simple ways and four methodologies to make it happen, rapidly and accurately.

It's easier than you think. I invite you to use the simple, yet highly effective, formula for getting what you want.

Ask others ... and ask the universe.